a mentor walks alongside you...

I’ve recently received several emails and phone call check-ins (as well as personal impacts) from friends and family regarding last week’s post. Thank you for your thoughtfulness. As I was reflecting upon those connections, I came to realize how many of them serve multiple roles in my life – friend, colleague, student, and mentor. It was this last category that really stuck in my mind and thought worthy of re-visiting for this week’s Inspirational message:

“A mentor is not someone who walks ahead of you to show you how they did it. A mentor walks alongside you to show you what you can do.” – Anonymous

Last week while enjoying our evening dog-walking stroll through our neighborhood, my wife shared a story of one of the families that she works with. The parents had mentioned that their elementary school-aged child had what amounted to her own “executive function coach.” This individual met with the child one-on-one periodically and helped with developing healthy time management and organization techniques, self-regulation, and school-related project prioritization options. Being familiar with the high octane pace and helicopter parents of Northern Virginia, I initially laughed and thought to myself that I’m not surprised. However, after thinking and talking about it some more, I was actually pretty impressed with this on three different levels. First, for those of us who are parents, it sometimes feels unfair that the same wisdom that falls on deaf ears when shared by a mother or father, sounds uniquely attractive and resonates with our kids when it comes from a different (and trusted) source. If my child will take some well-constructed and -intentioned advice from a different spokesperson, so be it. Secondly, regardless of who was sharing the information in this particular case, the child was learning critical life skills that would only prove to become more beneficial as they progressed through school and life. And finally (although I was hesitant to ask what an executive function coach costs), these parents were investing their money in the self-development of their most precious resource – their child - arguably one of the best cases of what I’d consider money well-spent. I couldn’t help but to wonder how many high school, college, and young professionals could have benefited from a solid executive function foundation like this earlier in life.

The more I reflected on this, the more I recalled how important it was to have access to a non-judgmental and unconditional accountability partner throughout one’s life. I shared some thoughts on this back in early July that emphasized the importance of adding a mentor to your professional/personal self-development – arguing that you can’t do this alone. This can’t be overstated. We should all ensure that our network includes at least one mentor or trusted advisor - someone you respect and value, who won’t be afraid to sometimes give you the “hard truth” and constructive criticism; bold enough to share when the emperor is wearing no clothes. This idea of Executive Coaching is somewhat of a misleading title, due to a natural assumption that you must define “Executive” in a literal versus figurative sense. You certainly don’t have to wait until you become an “executive.” In fact, I’d argue that many of us who adopted this mentorship approach too late in life, might sometimes wonder at how our career path and progression may have been accelerated if we had sought targeted guidance earlier. Starting down this path in elementary school doesn’t sound to strange now, does it?

Among my various “adult” roles, I do a lot of executive coaching. For some, this is in a professional capacity with clients that span the organizational hierarchy. For others, it’s more of a personal endeavor, mentoring past students and young adults as they attempt to make sense of this crazy world. But although I typically find myself in the mentor role, I still recognize that despite my background and experience in the leadership field, I also continue to be a “work in progress.” I frequently reach out to a vast network of personal and professional friends and colleagues, where I eagerly embrace the role as a curious mentee. For it’s there where I can put my trust in a respected Accountability Partner that will challenge me and provide practical feedback for my growth, specifically in:

· helping me attain an unbiased and more focused and unfiltered understanding about my past/current/future situation;

· encouraging me to reflect and gain a more holistic perspective of not only what influences me, but also an awareness of the greater sphere in which I have the ability to influence; and

· guiding me away from primarily seeking and accepting initial answers and more towards asking deeper, thoughtful, and more impactful questions.

In my experience, it is this deeper awareness that is absolutely critical in unleashing your passion(s), channeling your energy, shepherding your growth, and encouraging your development. Where are you at in your Mentor relationships? It’s never too late (or potentially too early) to start!